Being Roxanne
by blue2dolphin2
Summary: Nothing ever goes right for Roxy Weasley. Mum's new baby, bitchy girls and cousins, oh, and her wacky family. Join Roxanne as she pens her humorous life onto paper. Might change to T later.


So this is a new story. although i normally put Roxanne in Slytherin, here she's Gryffindor. Canon like most of my stories except for Angelina's baby and four year old twins I created who are Ron and Hermione's.

**Being Roxanne**

August 16th

10:03am

Life sucks! For no good reason Uncle Bill's kids have to come round. Why can't it be Hugo or Lily or the twins? Or even James and Al! Victoire is all right, but Dominique's a bitch and Louis just thinks he's it!

12:06pm

Oh joy. They are here! Sarcastic yays all around!

1:02pm

Hiding in my room with a milkshake and a tray of brownies.

1:14pm

Life is weird. So are these brownies my mum just baked.

1:30pm

I found out my mum put corn in them because of her pregnancy cravings.

2:07pm

I got busted for being in my room. Also for stealing the brownies.

2:34pm

Delightful Dominique has insulted me for my brownie-eating. Come on, I only ate like six!

4:47pm

Thank god, they're gone. Happy dance! Happy dance!

5:01pm

Spoke way too soon. We now have a family meeting about the baby.

5:16pm

If I hear one more thing about this baby, I'm gonna SCREAM! Going to escape with a bath bomb. My dad got the idea because Grandad found out Muggles had them and he now makes crazy ones.

7:19pm

I will never use a bath bomb again. I had to spend two hours cleaning the bathroom.

9:14pm

I waded through the mess of sweet wrappers, old T-shirts and stuffed animals. What colour is my rug?

11:18pm

I found some chocolate!

August 17th

9:54am

I know mum is busy with her job and dad is busy with the shop, but I think that at least one of them could actually buy MILK! I have spent the last 5 minutes washing the taste of sour milk out of my mouth.

Freddie is laughing at me because he chose to eat bread.

10:05 am

Ha! Totally got the last laugh! Mum put spinach in the jam and ketchup in the butter because of cravings.

2 minutes later

Ok now it's a lose-lose situation because there isn't breakfast.

11:01am

Found some pancake mix! Score! Food without vegetables or sauce in it!

1:04pm

Mum left us some of her favourite chocolate tuna pasta. I'd rather go hungry.

1:30pm

Take out pizza! Maybe my brother isn't such a fail.

3:09pm

Actually, he and his girlfriend Blossom are making it their mission to scar my innocent mind.

3:40pm

Ooh, a recipe for non-sweetcorny brownies. I will floo Sylvia and tell her to come over. She can bake because her family runs a baker's shop.

6:37pm

I gave some to my mum, and she squeezed some mustard over them and asked me why there wasn't any sweetcorn.

Is this my sad life? I make nice food and my family ignores it. I will take the half-tray of brownies upstairs.

7:56pm

I should probably clean my room as my mum is yelling at me because all the trays are in the mess I call a bedroom.

8:45pm

I'm exhausted, going to have an early night. I just spent an hour convincing my mum not to make 'firewhisky flapjacks.' Her cravings are really quite crazy, after I was done she made us hot chocolate- with chilli.

August 18th

8:30am

It is Tuesday, and as usual, no one is here except Fred, and he doesn't even count.

8:31am

Why are Tuesdays so...Tuesdayish?

9:34am

Fred is very upset because he went to James' place and found him and Blossom on the couch in a lip lock.

12:57pm

When I came back from getting our takeout burgers (we still don't really like Mum's chocolate tuna pasta), I found him on the couch with Lynn Mathers.

2:46pm

Is this my life? Stuck in the flat with my brother? He is now snogging Annabelle Brimstone.

5:49pm

Cara White.

6:01pm

Fred asked me why all the girls in his year seem shallow.

I told him that he picks the shallow ones.

A minute and a half later

Was that sorta cruel?

10:40pm

I have to tidy my room tomorrow or mum will freak because when I take brownies/cookies to my room, I lose the tray to the abyss of the mess.

August 19th

10:16am

Wednesdays are so stupidly Wednesdayish!

12:13pm

Fred has chosen Annabelle Brimstone, and they are now scarring me. I will floo lily and tell her to floo Hugo and tell him to floo the twins.

12:22pm

Lily here! She brought some ice-cream!

12:33pm

Hugo here. He says the twins will come when they are done putting pond-slime in Uncle Percy's underwear.

2:19pm

I flooed Sylvia Benton and Mara Case, and Lily flooed her friend Elle. Hugo flooed his friends, and we are squashed in a bathroom because no one will go in the abyss (aka my room).

"Truth or Dare, Elle!" Elle Martin put her face in her hands. "Dare."

"Go into my room, and pick five things."

"Ooh, the abyss. BURN!" Molly and Lucy said together.

Elle found a T-shirt covered in mud, the crusts of a cheese sandwich, a half-eaten cookie, an old toothbrush, and a brownie tray with crusts of putrid brownie left in.

"Truth or Dare, Roxy?"

"Dare, obviously!"

"I dare you to wash your brownie tray, without gloves."

3:10pm

I shall kill Elle, I have used all the strawberry soap, and my hands still don't smell good.

On the bright side my mum can bake stuff again.

4:20pm

Hugo got dared to stand on the tree shirtless and act like a monkey. Other memorable ones have been Hugo's friend Caspar doing karaoke to the weird sisters (some weird band from DAD'S time) and then the twins had to put on fairy costumes and run around in the street acting like five-year olds.

8:40pm

We went to the Potter house and Auntie Ginny said that she couldn't fit all of the friends. So we squeezed into Lily's room anyway.

1:00am

We have been playing cards, talking and stealing snacks.

Hugo said to me that he wished that his household was like mine.

I said that at least there wasn't someone trying to scar me for life and that Ron and Hermione could buy milk, and that there wasn't vegetables or sauce in anything.

He sorta agreed.


End file.
